wheels are a blessing and a curse

well unfortunate news. i have had two more episodes of sleep paralysis. the second time i was napping with byrnn because i fell asleep watching netflix. i was dreaming i was in the backseat of a car with a little girl who wasn't dressed and wasn't buckled in, but i realized that it couldn't be real and that i must be dreaming, so i tried to wake up and it happened. i was kind of scared brynn would wiggle away and i wouldn't be able to catch her, but she was sleeping too. i tried moving everything, my fingers, toes, face. the best i could do was pucker my lips slightly. i came out of it by taking a really deep breath and just focusing on my breath. i didn't hallucinate or imagine anything in the room or anything. it wasn't terrifying at all, besides me worrying about brynn getting away.

the third time, i was going to sleep and i had brynn next to me in bed. i put her with me because she sometimes won't fall asleep unless her binky is in her mouth. i don't remember if i was even dreaming or anything but i became aware like before but couldn't move. i tried everything again, and i've come a little farther. i was able to hum a little bit. i think i came out of it by going "back" to sleep and waking up again. and like the second time, i didn't hallucinate or imagine anything. i think it's because i know what's happening, and i've been sleeping with the lights on haha.

i hope it doesn't happen any more but if it does i'm not sweating it like before. as long as it doesn't become horrifying.

my grandma bought a new car recently and gifted us her old one. we've been out and about, which is both awesome and bad. for example, we went to the chinese buffet twice in the same week.

my typical plate. some kind of chicken, fried rice, lo mein, egg roll, and krab rangoon ;)

mom found my coke bottle

since noah started school, i've been going with mom to pick him up at his bus stop. while we're in the car we usually stop places. it's great but it's going to make me fat.

i've been trying to eat less recently. i noticed i don't eat much during the day any way so nothing has changed, i am just aware lol. i need to eat healthier, though. today i had six vienna sausages, a slice of pizza, three cookies, half a bag of sunflower seeds, and three cans of vanilla creme pop. and i'm about to go have some thin mints. ridiculous

next month, i'm going to start doing project document your life. i don't know why i didn't start it earlier. i think it's because i thought i didn't have enough going on in my life to make them interesting, but i do. i at least have enough to make a few minutes interesting. i have the music picked out and everything, i'm not going to not do this.